Revising a Document for Nonnative Speakers and for Translation

Background  For this activity, you will assume the role of an assistant to Lucinda Emeretto, Division Manager for the U.S. Transportation Security Administration (TSA) Office of Traveler Information. Ms. Emeretto is in charge of communicating TSA policy to the public. She has an assignment for you. “Now that we’ve revised the policy for screening people with special religious and cultural needs at airports, we need to turn the policy into clear information for people abroad, as well as the millions of U.S. residents and citizens who are nonnative speakers of English.”  “So we’re going to translate it?” you ask.  “Yes, we’re going to do about a dozen languages, but first we want to make it as simple and easy to understand as possible. Translation is very expensive, and we want to make sure we present the information as concisely as we can.   “It sounds as if we need to rethink the document in terms of who will be reading it and how they’ll be using it.”  “Yes, that’s a good point. The original is a mix of policy statement and traveler information. What I want you to do is make it a consumer guide. We’re talking to people with special religious and cultural needs—and those who travel with them. We’re going to put the information on our site for them to study before they travel, and we’re going to have brochures at security checkpoints in the airports.”  Download a copy of Document 10.1. (attached to this activity)   Assignment Once you’ve familiarized yourself with the case background and attached document, complete the assignment below. Submit your work in the form of a memo, written on letterhead (you may use the ASU logo found in “Easy Memo” on Blackboard). Your revision of the original document should be attached to the end of your memo.  Go to Chapter 10 and read the original statement Document 10.1. Then write a memo to Ms. Emeretto explaining how you plan to approach the project and asking for her approval. In light of the new audience and purpose for the information, should you delete any of the information in the document? Do you need to add information? Is voice handled appropriately in the information that you think should be retained? Which aspects of sentence structure and word choice should you address? Revise Document 10.1 according to the ideas you presented in your memo to Ms. Emeretto. Reflecting on Your Work  Once you’ve completed your assignment, write a reflection about your work using the prompt below.  1. Once you’ve revised your policy statement, review it again. How successfully did your revisions follow the plan you outlined to Ms. Emeretto? In the text box below, paste at least two specific sentences or passages you revised, along with your original rationale for changing each of them. Do the changes reflect the rationale effectively? Write your thoughts in the box below, along with any new ideas you have about how to improve the sentences or passages even more.

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